Mean Girls: Part 2

The reprieve from the mean girl lasted only a couple of days for Hollie.  She told me last week that she was trying really hard not to cry, but it was becoming harder.  And then she said that this girl made her feel like "a loser".  Oh HELL no!  I was at my computer emailing the teacher immediately.  I explained the situation, gave a couple of examples, and asked her these types of things were handled at school.  She responded almost immediately, and asked for a meeting in person.

We met yesterday.  I am not the first mother to come forward with a complaint about this child's behavior (shocker).  Hollie's teacher has spoken to the school psychologist and they are going to start working with the girl on behavior.  In addition, she will keep an eye on Hollie, since she knows this is going on.  She was really struck by the example of the girl sending Hollie to the wrong room for after school care, because she recognized that this took some planning / thinking ahead rather than just spouting off some nastyism on the playground.

I am happy with the actions that are being taken, and hope this will all resolve quickly.

Uplifting story of the day...

The picture above is Emma DeSilva, a Sydney mom who, along with her 19 day old daughter, was hit by a car that drove on to a curb nine weeks ago.  Her daughter had minor injuries (protected by her pram) - but Emma went into a coma.  Her husband took Baby Eloise to the hospital each day and would lie her on Emma's chest, because he felt they would bond, regardless of Emma's state.

The news reported yesterday that on Mother's Day, Emma woke up after being in a coma for 9 weeks.

WOW.

I am reminded of an song from a little while back..

She'll Be Apples! (ie...It'll be Okay..)

Most people I know love the Australian accent.  It took me a week or so to stop visualizing Chase (from "House") every time I heard a man speaking.  

Side note: His hair is so much better short!   

But back to the topic at hand...

The difference in our words and expressions is quite funny.  I'm still learning them,and probably will be for the entire time I am here, but I wanted to share a few. 

Australian,  in pink:

How ya going?   Hello, How are you doing...

Mate Term of endearment, used by friends.  I've also heard parents use this with their kids "Hey mate, slow down or you're going to fall"..  Interestingly, I've not heard anyone say G'day mate (except for my kids).

Partner: Husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend...

Good Onya:  Good job, good for you

She'll be apples :  It'll be ok!

Nappy : Diaper

Dummy: Pacifier

Pram: Stroller

Bloke: Man

Jumper: Sweater

Chips: French fries

Lollies: Sweets (candy)

Nursing a baby: Holding a baby.  When I first met our new doctor, he told me to not fret if someone asked me to nurse their baby...

Barrack: Support a team.  We should not use "root for"...as root is a "vulgar term for sex".  


And then last but not least, the one that makes me feel most at home....


I reckon:  I reckon!

Pikelets

Before we moved, we would laugh about how Brynn was going to manage her pancake addiction upon moving here.  She had around a 4 pancake-a-day addiction.  She loved them so much that she would pull them directly out of the freezer and eat them just like that.  I am no great cook, and quickly resolved to buying Eggos or Aunt Jemimas after I attempted a Friday night meal of pancakes once.  My poor family.

There are no Eggos or Aunt Jemima pancakes here.  Brynn has sufficed with croissants or bagels here and there, and has developed a love of Rice Krispies.  I do love that she doesn't require anything sugary (she always had the pancakes without syrup, ..and does not eat sugar on the cereal).  Of course, this only applies when Big Daddy is not in town.  When he is here, anything is fair game for breakfast for her, including Coke, coffee, cake, and donuts.  (Dad, if you read this - It is okay, and I'd let her have that breakfast every day if you could be here with us).  Rice Krispies is actually one of the only cereals I've seen here that I recognize.  I have also seen Fruit Loops, Cheerios (although not plain - only some variation that is sort of like honey nut Cheerios) and Cocoa Krispies.  Gone are the days of Cap'n Crunch and Lucky Charms.  

Yesterday I picked Hollie up at afterschool care, as the girls were getting ready for tea. Hollie asked one of the ladies if she could have a Pikelet.   I asked what that was, and the lady said.."It's sort of a crumpet...or a pancake".. Pancake??? What!!!???  How did I not know this?  Hollie got one and insisted I try it.  Sure enough....it was like a pancake!

After googling this pikelet thing, I found something that I thought looked delicious.  I think I'll be trying these:

Pikelets, Pikelets..Everywhere!!

Off now to Woolies, where they are on sale for $1.99.  DEAL OF THE CENTURY!!!

That cost HOW much???

Loreal Foundation is $30?    Eye shadow $18?  Seriously?  

Australia is expensive.  Either that, or the US is way cheap.  Either way, it's a big adjustment.  A lunch at Mackers wil knock us back $50.  And the exchange rate is close to even, so it's not as though I'm saying this in Australian dollars, but it's like $20 in the US.  Nope. it's about $50 in US dollars, too.

Here are a few examples...

24 pack of soda: $32
Soda from Vending Machine : $3.50
Pack of Chips from Vending Machine: $3.80
Cigarettes: $17 per pack (Jeff told me to add this)
Bag of Shredded Cheese: $7
Video Game: $120 (each)
Gas: $1.49/liter (I think that is 5.96/gallon)= our Toyota Camry to fill: $80
Movie Ticket: $17 per ticket
Children Paperback book: $18

My initial trips to the mall were interesting.  First of all, it's more tall than long.  There are a lot of escalators, and lifts (elevators).

 I don't know most of the stores.  Exceptions to that are Aldo,Guess, Target and Sunglass Hut.  Last week, I bought Brynn five pieces of clothingat Target (one dress, one pair of pants, one pair of leggings and two tops) and that was over 100 dollars.  I gotta start cutting back on her food intake.  

The styles are different.  Maybe I should save fashion for another post, but I'll go ahead with a bit.  I've noticed a lot of women wearing very fitted cargo pants. They are cute.  I've never seen those back home.  I've also seen a lot of spandex with short shirts in my neighborhood.  It may just be my neighborhood, not really sure.  I can't see myself following that trend.

Jackson wore mid calf black socks back home with his shorts.  Here, he has quickly switched to short socks, since he was told that the fashion police at school (aka the gay kid with all the style) would quickly call him out on those tall socks.

Back to prices....

One of the great joys in my life is shopping.  Thankfully, I read an article in the newspaper last week about a website that was a portal for US stores that will ship to Autralia.  (((And the angels sang)))

Mean Girls

Drop a new boy in the mix. Friendships will be made and life will move on without a hitch.  But drop a new girl in the mix and drama is 100% guaranteed.

I mentioned in an earlier post that Hollie was being picked on at school.  Hollie has an archrival, and I'll just call her MG for mean girl.  After the first few incidents, Hollie told me that she was being especially nice to MG, even complimenting one of her art projects in front of the whole class.  This is when I told Hollie that she didn't have to be nice to someone who was not nice to her.  Her response was that if you are nice to someone, usually they will be nice to you.  Well, it was a good effort, but it didn't work.  MG sent Hollie to the wrong place for after school care, threatened her over a pencil (serious stuff), and says nasty things to Hollie on a daily basis.  A few days back, I picked up Hollie from school and she was positively beaming!  She said "Mom, Guess what I did?  I stood up to myself!".  I congratulated her, and held back from correcting her grammar in this momentous moment of hers.  She was so proud of herself, and told me that she had been acting as though she didn't hear MG when the comments were made.  She also told MG no, when she tried to trick Hollie into getting the wrong violin book.  Again, serious stuff.  But, while the item itself is not a big deal, standing up for yourself is.

I refrained from making any comments about MG, much as I wanted to.  Hollie needs to come to these things on her own, and I hope that I can guide her through these things without putting too much emphasis on the person, but rather the behavior.  Anyway, mean girls are a dime a dozen, and there will be many  more behind this one.

I am just so proud of her for dealing with this as she has.  Oh, and since she started acting this way - not one incident with MG.  Go Hollie, Go Hollie....

Medical Care

This morning, I had to take Jackson to the doctor.  He's has been having headaches for the past several weeks, and they are so intense that they cause him to get sick.  I finally decided a few weeks of it warranted a visit to see the doctor.

When I called for the appointment, they did not ask why I needed bring Jackson in.  I thought it was odd, but then I thought..well, that makes sense.  Why DO we have to go into detail on the reason we are coming in?  It's not as though when I call the kids doctor back home and tell them they have a sore throat, the strep test is out and waiting in the room when we get there.

The doctors here don't use their title with their name.  This morning, the doctor introduced herself as Caroline Jenner.  Same with the orthodontist.  "Hi, I'm Derek"...and I was flashing to Grey's because he actually looked like McDreamy...

The doctors come out and get you themselves.  I didn't see any nurses there.  Maybe this is specific to the practice, I'm not sure.  But there were about 8 doctors and no nurses.

The family doctors see everyone - kids and adults.

Caroline turned out to be great.  She spent a lot of time looking him over, and gave him various neurological tests.  She said that he showed no signs of tumors, but all signs of migraines.  My poor boy, I hate that he is going to have to deal with that.

One of the little things...

Hollie brought home a set of four books from school, with a note attached to them, asking me to cover the books.  The books are small, paperback books with notebook paper inside.  They remind me of those essay test books that we had to buy in college at exam time.   This is new to me.  Maybe some schools in the US use these, but none that my kids have been in.

So, off starts my mission to cover books. We covered our textbooks with paper bags when we were kids.  I cross out this option in my head because 1) I haven't seen one paper grocery bag here (people carry "green" bags to the store) 2) heavy paper is not likely to fold well around a paperback and 3)if Hollie is getting picked on already (and she is, but that is another post), would paper bagged books make it worse?

Jeff and I are at Kmart and we find some contact paper.  Side note: Kmarts here smell just like Kmarts at home.  I wonder if I am the only person who notices the way Kmart smells.  But I digress...Anyway, we find contact paper, and we go with a plain white, and buy her some stickers to decorate with, once I have covered them.  I start the project, outlining the book, cutting the paper, etc.  And I am giving it focus like No one is allowed in this room while I do this kind of focus.  I spent hours , yes HOURS, on this important project.  And boy, did they just turn out beautiful!  No, not really.  They are hideous.  I let Hollie add stickers, which only makes them gaudy and hideous.  She takes them to school though, thinking they are great (God bless the naive child).

That day, I am at the news stand, and I see the books like the ones that were sent home to be covered.  I also see some fabulous contact paper.  It's a red and green retro print, and I think that I could fix the ugly book situation.  I buy four books and bring them home, and cover them in a matter of minutes.  They are adorable!  I show Hollie when she comes home, and she says ah, ok.  Clearly this is not a big deal to her, but I am so proud of myself I can hardly stand it.

She takes the new, beautiful books the next day, only to return home in the afternoon with a note that says "Ms. Herman, we won't be needing any more botany books for this term".  WHAT!  Botany books?  What is a botany book?  The books I bought looked like the ones I covered.  They had the same number of pages (I checked).  Hollie tells me that botany books have some blank sheets in them, versus a book where all the sheets are lined.

This reminds me of an Easter egg hunt that we went to years back.  Jackson and I dyed our eggs and went to the hunt.  About an hour into it, a man comes over to me and says "Some moron brought real eggs.  Can you believe that?".

Parenting. The good, the bad, and the ugly

This post is not related to Australia directly, but it's on my mind - Parenting.  It's hard.  I am always reading some parenting book that guarantees that I'll be a perfect mother and my kids will turn out to be superstars and rocket scientists.  Since I've been in Australia, I have spent a lot more time with my kids since I am not working. Brynn is with me all day and Jackson and Hollie are home much earlier than before.  You'd think that not working would make me much less stressed.  Not so.  Now, I have never been one to think that a mother should either stay home with her kids or that she should work.  It really depends on the individual, and we all have the right to make our own choices.  Side Note: It's amazing to me how judgemental women are on this topic.  Have you ever heard a man criticize another man for working too many hours, or not spending enough time at the school doing classroom activities?  I doubt it.

Anyway, my point in all of this is that this transition is hard for me.  I've been a bit snappy with the kids, especially in the morning when we need to be leaving and one of them (usually Hollie) is poking around, shoes not on, bags not ready, etc.  We are working on a responsibility system in the house now, but that is not where I'm going with this.  

So, I was thinking about work evaluations.  They are good for us - they point out what we do well, and what we could improve on.  And then I thought, parenting is an important job.  I should ask my kids for their thoughts on my parenting.  So, I gave Jackson and Hollie a sheet of paper that had 2 questions on it.  1) What does your mom do a good job at?  and 2) How could she improve?

Jackson's responses:

  1)  Overall, my mom is a very good parent.  She is very supportive and outgoing, not to mention incredibly good willed.  She does most of the household chores, sometimes all of them.  Poor mom : /

She has a very good personality and a great sense of humor, when she's in a good mood.  She does a very good job handling Hollie and Brynn.  Well, not always Brynn.  Also, she is very charitable and is more concerned for the well-being of others than her own.  2) Try to yell a little bit less and control her temper.  also in the morning try to be a little less grumpy.  I know that Hollie and Brynn make you crazy but it wouldn't hurt to just try to deal with it better.  I know you try, but try harder!  Also, when saying OOOONNNEEE,  TTWWWWOOOO, don't be afraid to see THREEEEEEEE!

He is so right!  I have to work on those things.

Hollie's responses:

1)Everything

2) She's amazing and I wouldn't like her any other way.

For such a little overachiever, I expected more.  I guess she was having an off kind of day.  But hey, I didn't yell at her for it!  

Hollie - Year 2

Hollie attends Abbotsleigh Junior School, which is a stone's throw from Knox.  This was one of the big factors in  picking Abbotsleigh.  There was another school that I liked more, but Jeff liked Abbotsleigh more and I couldn't dispute the convenience of the kids going to school so close together, and the fact that Abbotsleigh has an early learning center that Brynn could possibly attend.

Abbotsleigh is an all girls school from K ("Kindy") - 6.  There are two year 2 classes, each with a max of 22 kids.  Hollie is Ms Southen's class.  I wonder what kind of person it would take to be a teacher at an all girls school.  Props to that.

Hollie has declared herself the smartest person in the class ( I don't know what to do about her lack of self confidence).  I don't think learning will be an issue for her at all.  Socially, I am not sure.  The girls don't seem too nice, and there are a few who have been quite mean.  Hollie was hit in the face on her second day.  It did not deter her enthusiasm, though, so I didn't make a big deal about it.  One day in the parking garage ("car park") during carpool, I saw a girl spit on another girl, pull her hair, and punch her.  Really???  I don't think this behavior is reflective of Australians, but I wonder if it is Abbotsleigh, or if it is the nature of an all girls private school.  Hollie, meanwhile, tries to make friends with everyone, even those who are mean to her.  I tell her that she doesn't have to be nice to people who are not nice to her, but she insists that we should always be nice and that usually if you are nice to someone else, they'll be nice to you too.  Can't argue with her positive attitude.

Of all the things at school, Hollie's favorites are Christian studies and the after school program.  She loves anything to do with Christianity.  She walks around singing gospel songs.  She asks questions constantly about God, Jesus, heaven...Not that they are all profound - "Can I take my ipod charger to heaven?".  But she has asked me about souls, and what do they look like?  How will Grandma Hollie recognize her when she gets to heaven?  Do they sell Gelato there?

We enrolled Hollie in the after school program for a couple of days each week so that she could meet more people.  When school ends at 3, they have afternoon tea, then do homework.  Afterward, they go outside for a sport or do arts and crafts.  At 5pm they have another tea, that is like a small meal.  Then the girls do another activity like computers or reading.  She really loves it and gets mad when I arrive to pick her up too early.

Last week, on Hollie's homework sheet, one of the items was to bring in News, and speak on it for 2 minutes.  So that happened to be the day that Bin Laden was killed.  Since it was all over the papers, and she was interested, she decided to go with that.  Turns out that News means something different here, at least in the school.  News is like show and tell.  The goal is to get the girls up in front of the class and get them used to public speaking.  Now we know, and today Hollie was going to talk about a Barbie in news.  Lesson learned!

Jackson and Knox Grammar School

Going into this experience, my biggest fears lied with Jackson's transition into the new environment.  In addition to leaving all of his friends, he was going to go to an all boys school, wear a uniform, and play sports that he's never even seen.

The school that we chose for Jackson is Knox Grammar.  There are about 1500 boys at the senior school, where boys from grades 7-12.   The school motto is Virile Agitur, which translates to "Act Like a Man".  The school is all about giving the boys opportunities to do all kinds of things, in order to find the things that they can really be passionate about.  The school itself is beautiful, and is surrounded by an old campus that includes a chapel, a large oval (field) multiple classroom buildings.  Random tidbit: There is no cafeteria for the boys to sit and eat in.  There is a canteen where they can buy food, but they then go outside and eat.

The class schedule is different each day.  Even on days when the boys go to the same classes, they don't attend them at the same time.  (It would take me forever to get my schedule down!).  The classes are fairly similar to what Jackson took at home, with the exception of history and languages.  There are no Spanish classes here, so Jackson is taking French.  The boys also attend chapel and Christian studies.

 Knox is on a house system.  Each boy is assigned to a house for social activities, and Jackson is in the Adamson house.  When Jeff and I were visiting, there was a house basketball tournament going on during lunch.  There are house meetings every week as well, to cover school news, updates, etc.

Each boy is required to play a sport for both winter and summer.  Rugby is popular here, as are basketball and soccer.  Jackson selected fitness for his first go.  He stays after school on Wednesdays for extra practice, and there are Saturday morning classes as well that he must attend.

Traditions:  Love this!

The boys are required to tip their hat as they pass the gates into the school.

Adults at school must always be addressed by Sir or Mam each time they are spoken to (so when a boy asks a question in class, they must use this)

If an adult other than the teacher comes into the classroom, the boys are to stand.

The hat and blazer must be worn when travelling from home to Knox or vice versa.  Once on campus, the boys may remove them.

The boys may not have hair that touches their ears or collars.  No hair gels allowed (seriously, this was in the guide!!)

First day:  You can see the excitement bubbling over (LOL)

Jackson was teamed up with another year 9 boy, Seban, who was to help Jackson acclimate to Knox. They have become fast friends and Seban has introduced Jackson to his group of friends as well.

One of the students introduced himself to Jackson, and asked "Are you a Crip or a Blood?", to which Jackson replied "Neither".  The boy said "Oh.  I thought everyone was in a gang there".  What they think of us Americans!!

Last week, I walked in to find Jackson doing homework at about 4pm one day. Shocking!  He tells me that the teachers here don't make kids feel bad for asking questions, and that they genuinely seem interested in the kids education (this is making me wonder what was going on at West Millbrook???).  He has several teachers that he thinks are super funny, and a hot English teacher (his words).

So far, he seems to be enjoying Knox, and I am so thankful for this.

It's the little things

A lot of people have asked me what it's like to live in Australia.  I'll give you my initial observations, but keep in mind that I am new here so my knowledge is limited. 

People don't really say "Good day, mate".  Matter of fact, the only people I've heard say that are Hollie and Brynn.

Things are the same, and different. 

This is Jackson's favorite, and he asked daily to go eat at Hungry Jack's until we finally took him, about a week in.  He says it tastes just like Burger King back home.  There are also plenty of McDonalds (or "Mackers" as they call it here) around and I was surprised to find that the burgers really do taste the same.   Food overall is really good here.  There is a lot of Asian food (love), seafood (love) and fresh fruits and vegetables (love).  There are a lot of markets in Chatswood (where Lenovo is located).  Last week I had a veggie panini from a coffee shop there that was comprised of pumpkin slices, capsicum, and sprouts.  It was interesting, and delicious!  It's unfortunate, especially at times like this, that Jeff is so picky about food.  I am encouraging my  kids to immerse themselves in the culture, since they have a limited time here, and can eat plenty of chicken nuggets upon return to the US and thereafter.  

The grocery store is an experience.  Almost nothing is the same, brand wise, so we are trying to figure out what we like and what we don't. We do have Diet Coke, thank goodness, and Rice Krispies (Rice Bubbles here).  We're also adjusting to the price differences. The price is at least double for most of the items we normally use.  My kids are having to do without bananas at the moment.  Due to the floods in Queensland, supply is low...and thus, the price is about $13/kg.  That equates to around $3.50 USD per banana.  So for now..banana pops (at $6 a box) will have to do.    And the shopping carts...ohhhh how I despised the shopping carts for the first few weeks here.  All four wheels turn on the "trolleys", where back home only the front two turn.  It's so hard to steer a cart!  So, I am pushing my cart out to the car , going uphill, and my cart/ trolley/ posessed demon took me for a ride.  Jeff and the kids thought it was funny.  I did not.

The last thing I will add on grocery shopping is that the stores here do not sell Newports.  Jeff has a limited number of cigarettes left.  He smokes about half a pack per day now, compared to a pack a day before we moved.  He is well on his way  to quitting, and I am super proud of him. 

Speaking of smoking, the public service announcements are no joke here.  There is a commercial  that shows a man who iscoughing a lot, and the camera goes to the tissue he's coughing in to show blood.  He then looks over at his wife and kids in the next room, while the announcement says "every cigarette brings you one step closer to cancer".    I believe that the cigarettes are going to be sold here with plain packaging soon, also. I am honestly not sure that people buy cigarettes based on what the packaging looks like, but hey, if it stops someone from smoking, well then it doesn't really matter what I think.

Public transportation here is great, and we take the train quite a bit.  Our house is a 5-10 minute walk (depending on how cooperative the girls want to be) to the train station.  We initially took the train every day to and from school.  That all changed on Jackson's first day of school.  I walked in the rain, let me rephrase..the POURING rain, to the train station pushing Brynn in a stroller, carrying Brynn's backpack, one of Hollie's endless bags and an umbrella.  Same thing from train to Hollie's school, back to train, to Jackson's school, and back to train.  All before 8am.  And I swore (in more ways than one) that I would drive going forward.  And I did.  The kids and I have survived.  The Sydneysiders have survived.  And mostly, drivers here are quite considerate.  There's not a lot of horn blowing or aggressive driving, at least that I've seen.

Other tidbits:

Doors lock by key from inside, so if you use your key to come inside and forget to bring it in with you, you're essentially locked into your house.  At first I hated the idea, but now I'm actually pleased with it, since Brynn likes to wander and this way, she can't wander outside to the pool.  

Recycling is hard core here.  We have a garbage can that holds about 2 bags of garbage, and that is collected weekly.  And then there are 4-5 other bins for the different types of recycling.  For those of you that recycle quite a bit, you may think this sounds about right.  But for us, it was hard to get used to.  We recycled aluminum cans back in Raleigh, and that was pretty much it.

Possums in the attic are common here.  

There are a lot of spiders, and they are big.  They are like, eat your sandwich while you look the other way kind of big.  Jeff told the realtor that he was going to keep a can of bug spray close by.  She laughed and said "It won't do any good. They'll just keep coming back.".

There are lots of parrots!

Everyone has a clothes line / rack.  We hear that most people don't use dryers at all unless it is raining.  

Most of the houses around us don't have air conditioning.  

Shopping stops at 5:30 every day (even weekends), except for Thursday, when stores are open until 9.

  

A lot of toddlers ride these super snazzy little trikes, instead of riding in strollers ("prams")

More later..

Month 1: We're Here!

When Jeff asked me if I'd be interested in moving to Australia for two years, it was a no brainer.  I didn't even give it a moment's thought.  As far as international assignments go, how much better can you get than Sydney?
But when were on the flight to Los Angeles, I had a minor panic attack (at least in between infinite visits to the bathrooms...why do kids think those are so cool?). My head was exploding with negative thoughts.  Are we really doing this? Did we think this through enough?  Are the kids going to adjust and be okay, or will this move somehow send them on a downward spiral, where they talk about "that horrible move" years later in therapy?  Of course I realized why my dad had said we "just had to do this", and why my father in law said that this was a super opportunity.  But I also realized why my mom cried for the entire month leading up to our move.

Fast forward a month.

We are living in our house, though we have very little in the way of furnishings and personal belongings until our things arrive in late June.  There is a possum living in our attic, and he (don't know why I assume it's a male?) makes a lot of noise at night.  We've contacted the realtor about having it removed, but life moves at a slower pace here.  So for now, we listen to the pitter patter of little feet all day AND all night.

We have seen a lot of the major attractions.  We've been to the harbor and the opera house (Brynn wanted to know where the Wonder Pets were..  Those of you with toddlers have probably seen that episode).  We've been to Manly and Bondi beaches.  We've been to Darling Harbor and watched the firework show (fabulous).  We are keeping an ongoing list of the places we want to see and the things we want to do.  Each weekend, we are trying to do something new with the kids.  I have the Australian museum on the list.  Shouldn't all of us know a bit about the country we are living in???  Apparently I am the only one in my family with that feeling, though, and this item continues to move to the bottom of the list.   I've also got a list of my own that includes a lot of shopping on George St.  Perhaps I should delete that line, in case my husband ever decides to read this.